The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
Episode 33: Navigating Mistakes -- Our Mistakes and Others' Mistakes
Mistakes—the dreaded, anxiety-inducing, but absolutely inevitable part of being an attorney. Despite what your brain might tell you, every legal professional makes them because behind every suit and legal pad is a human being capable of error.
In this candid exploration of attorney mistakes, I pull back the curtain on the perfectionist culture that plagues our profession and offer a practical four-step framework to handle errors with professionalism and self-compassion. From learning to breathe through the initial panic to developing action plans that address both correction and prevention, this episode provides tangible strategies for moving forward after making a mistake. I share my personal mantra—"I didn't miss a deadline, I didn't commit malpractice, no one died"—that helps put legal errors in perspective when rumination threatens to take over.
But this conversation goes deeper than personal error management. I challenge supervisors and senior attorneys to break the toxic cycle of harsh reactions when team members report mistakes. The legal profession has long operated on a hazing mentality where new attorneys are expected to endure the same difficult treatment their predecessors experienced. What if we chose kindness instead? What if we responded to others' mistakes with the grace we wish we'd received? This paradigm shift doesn't mean lowering standards—it means creating environments where accountability coexists with compassion, ultimately building stronger teams united by trust rather than fear. The path to transforming our profession lies not in perfection, but in how we handle inevitable imperfection. Join me in reimagining a legal culture where making mistakes doesn't define us—how we respond to them does.
Find out more at https://thegraceperiod.substack.com/.
Welcome to the Grace Period where we get real about attorney mental health and well-being and pull back the veil on the high-stakes world of big law. I'm your host, emily Logan Steadman. In this demanding profession, it is crucial that we don't lose ourselves in the hustle for billable hours. On the Grace Period, we have honest conversations about finding consistency, minimizing chaos, developing coping strategies and destigmatizing mental health. It is time to prioritize our shared humanity to find our grace period. Welcome to episode 33 of the Grace Period. Today, I'm going to talk about mistakes. Mistakes are dreaded, angst riddled and inevitable. They will happen to you, they will happen to me and they will likely happen more than once. Every attorney has made a mistake, because every attorney is a human. When I first entered private practice and Midwest Big Law, my brain lied to me. It told me no one was doubting. Told me no one else ever messed up. Told me no one else was struggling. Those were lies Any attorney worth a damn will tell you. They have at least one story likely more about a mistake. They made A mistake that haunts them, one that makes them laugh, one that makes them cringe because they made it a much bigger deal than it actually was. So when this inevitably happens to you, what can you do? First, breathe, you do First breathe. Let yourself feel the weight of the mistake and the disappointment, breathe through it and then move on. I'm a ruminator, so this is very hard for me. One tool I use is a timer. If you need to set a timer for a minute, five minutes, whatever it is, let yourself feel the mistake for that amount of time and then move on. Second act what was the mistake? How can you fix it? What's the plan? Who can you talk to? A trusted colleague or mentor about fixing it. Almost every mistake is fixable. Believe that, lean into it and make a plan. The plan should be twofold how to fix the mistake and two, how to prevent it from happening next time. Third, own the mistake. Report the mistake to the senior associate or partner. In that update include an apology, the plan to correct the mistake, the plan to prevent it in the future, a draft client update if applicable. Tell them you're taking care of it, show them you're on it, offer a time to discuss it and schedule that time on the calendar.
Speaker 1:Fourth move on. This is always the Very hard, maybe too hard. I'll beat myself up. I'll worry that my teammates won't want to work with me again and I'll ruminate. So I created a mantra. It goes like this I didn't miss a deadline, I didn't commit malpractice, no one died. I repeat that over and over until I believe it, until I've moved on. I also try to remember past mistakes. How long did they matter? Answer never that long, because everyone moved on and no one died. You are a human. You will make mistakes. Use this framework to help you move through them.
Speaker 1:But what about the senior associates and partners who manage teams? What can we do when someone reports their mistakes to us? Answer be kind. I find immense pride in treating newer than me attorneys with greater grace and understanding when they make mistakes than I received when I was in their shoes. I've experienced some horrible managers, often toxic, usually micromanagers and typically people who expect perfection from others when they themselves are a hot mess. But I can break that cycle. We can break that cycle. We can do it differently.
Speaker 1:Just because it was hard, unpleasant or toxic for us does not mean it needs to be that way for those who follow in our footsteps. That is a hazing mentality. Yes, it's hard to break, but it's not impossible. Make the effort every time. It is worth it. What does that look like?
Speaker 1:1. Breathing, Listen to the update where the mistake is revealed and pause before you react. 2. Review the plan to fix it or come up with one on your own and facilitate that correction, or fix it yourself. Three turn it into a lesson. A lesson about our shared humanity and the mistakes we've made. A lesson about how we can avoid this mistake in the future. A lesson about gratitude that this person was brave enough to share the mistake with you in the first place. A lesson about guidance on how to address opposing counsel, the court or the client about the mistake and making it right.
Speaker 1:It is easy to just react, to rely on our knee-jerk human nature to be frustrated, disappointed or angry and to show that to the person reporting the mistake. To ask, but ask yourself is that productive? Does it feel good? Did it feel good for you when you were treated that way? Answers no. Break the cycle. You can be kind yet firm. You can set an expectation that this not happen again. Most people who report to you want to do a good job for you. Most will not be repeat offenders. React from that place and you'll build greater trust, retain more talent and create stronger teams.
Speaker 1:Mistakes happen. There is no avoiding them. How we address them, when we make them and when others make them can look different, be more productive and include kindness and grace. That's where the real lasting impact and change for our profession lies. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Grace Period. I hope this discussion has shed some light and insights about handling mistakes your own and others' mistakes. Your own and others' mistakes. Next week I'll share some advice on being a summer associate. Remember you don't have to sacrifice your well-being for career success. By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries and seeking support, you can survive and even thrive in the law and in big law. Until next time. Take care of yourselves and each other. Law Until next time. Take care of yourselves and each other. That is the path to our grace period. Disclaimers All views and opinions expressed in this episode are strictly my own. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute professional advice of any kind, including legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is created by listening to this podcast.
