The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
Episode 21: Partner Track
Joining Big Law in 2016, I, Emily Logan Stedman, was on a relentless quest to become a partner—a path often assumed by default. By year three, however, the cracks in this seemingly inevitable journey began to show. I was checking all the boxes, yet a creeping sense of burnout and self-doubt started to cloud my vision. The pandemic only magnified my isolation and unease, forcing me to reevaluate whether this was the life I truly wanted. Was I really working alongside those who inspired me? Was my work genuinely fulfilling? These questions became impossible to ignore, leading me to a transformative moment of self-reflection and a decision that changed everything.
In the latest episode of the Grace Period, I share my personal journey of rediscovering my professional identity and mental well-being in the challenging world of Big Law. With a shift to a new firm, Husch Blackwell, I found a fresh start that allowed me to redefine success on my terms. By focusing on mentorship, personal growth, and aligning my career with my core values, I learned the importance of prioritizing mental health and self-awareness in sustaining a fulfilling legal career. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of the trials and triumphs within the legal profession, offering insights into finding your path amid the high-stakes hustle. Join me as we unpack the partner track, explore its intricacies, and consider whether it's truly the right path for you.
Find out more at https://thegraceperiod.substack.com/.
Welcome to the Grace Period where we get real about attorney mental health and well-being and pull back the veil on the high-stakes world of big law. I'm your host, emily Logan Steadman. In this demanding profession, it is crucial that we don't lose ourselves in the hustle for billable hours. On the Grace Period, we have honest conversations about finding consistency, minimizing chaos, developing coping strategies and destigmatizing mental health. It is time to prioritize our shared humanity to find our grace period. Welcome to episode 21 of the Grace Period. This is the first episode of season three. Today, we'll talk about the partner track, what it is, how to get on or off it, and more about the partner track what it is how to get on or off it, and more. I want to start with my story. I joined Big Law in May of 2016. No one at that time asked me Emily, do you want to be a partner? But at first, that's the assumption. People proceed as if that is your intent, unless or until you tell them otherwise, or unless or until they tell you otherwise. And that was the assumed goal for me the first three years or so, maybe a little longer. I never doubted my future in big law. I checked the boxes of growth and professional development. Each year, I proceeded as if I would be a partner, eventually hitting numbers and metrics that align with that goal. And then I hit a bump. I actually think it's fairly common to start having doubts around year three or four of your big law journey, and for me, that was very true. I started to not like what I was doing, my anxiety was increasing and ultimately I burned out, and all of that made me question whether I was cut out for the job. My anxiety was increasing and ultimately I burned out, and all of that made me question whether I was cut out for the job. What do I think led to this Box checking? From 2016 until late 2019, early 2020, I never stopped to ask myself is this what I want? Am I working with? Who I want to work with? Am I doing the type of work I want to do?
Speaker 1:And by just checking the boxes, just going after the next level, the next metric, the next gold star, and not thinking about what I really wanted, I became pretty miserable. The isolation and increasing workload of the pandemic exacerbated all of that. My day-to-day interactions with colleagues went away. I was very alone. The firm investment time, committee work, recruiting that all went away in the pandemic. We also had lots of time in the remote world, and so time, anxiety and some misery led me to some self reflection.
Speaker 1:I finally asked myself is this what I want? And I realized no, I wasn't doing what I wanted to be doing. I wasn't working with people I wanted to work with or doing the type of work that fulfilled me. I cried a lot. I experienced a lot of self-blame and doubt. My confidence plummeted. I truly thought about leaving the law altogether. It was really my husband who finally said to me you know, emily, it's not the law, you probably just need an environment change. And look, you do not have to change firms to overcome this type of doubt or bump. For some of you, you'll be able to express that in your firm and they'll work with you to make shifts and adjustments.
Speaker 1:But for me, my life tends to be one of new, fresh starts, of clean slates. So when I tried to leave a practice area at my first firm, and that didn't go over too well, I looked elsewhere and I took all the lessons that I learned from my first firm and implemented them immediately at my new firm, hush Blackwell, where I am today. At first, I focused only on being a really solid senior associate. I focused on gathering litigation experiences that I felt were missing from my first four and a half years of practice. I also focused on mentorship. I found partners whose careers I could see myself mirroring. I took advantage of their advice and guidance. I grew my personal and professional brand. I built something that's wholly mine. I created a professional identity separate from my firm.
Speaker 1:And look, I'm a corporate girly through and through. I love being in a big company. I love having a corporate office downtown. I'm loyal, I'm a natural leader. I walk a company line in many, many ways, although I am never hesitant to ask questions to try to continue improving the place. I give back to the firm because it gives so much to me, and that was true at both firms I've been at.
Speaker 1:But there's a big lesson here Firms are not loyal to anyone but themselves. I say that without judgment. All businesses are like that. Many of you, like me, will feel loyalty to your company, but in the end, when the rubber hits the road, they're out for their own gain. And that's okay, because you can be out for your own gain as well. This is your career. It's okay to be selfish. You can and should be selfish. A firm will take from you as much as you allow it. In turn, you can take from it gather experience and skills that keep you marketable, that align with your career goals, that help you land somewhere else if you ever want or need to leave, or that help you make the pitch for partnership when that time comes, if that's your ultimate goal.
Speaker 1:With all of this in mind, I grew so much here at Hush Blackwell and I loved being a senior associate like absolutely loved it. I could see myself being a senior associate forever. So one day I asked my mentor is being partner worth it? I'm still shocked that I had the gumption to ask that. I'm still glad that I did. It opened the door to honest conversations about what might be next for me, what partnership would really look like. Because my mentor welcomed that conversation, I asked other people the same and similar questions. Did they like being partner? What did they wish they had done differently as they approached partner? Like the time I took to do Teach for America and make sure law school is for me. Like the time I took to clerk and to figure out if big law was for me. I took the time to listen, to figure out. If partnership was for me, I went into making partner eyes wide open. Why? Because this isn't a small decision.
Speaker 1:First, it takes a lot of time to reach this level. On average, you'll be an associate for 8 to 10 years before going up for partnership. The key is gathering the skills required to excel in your practice area, to demonstrate leadership skills and commitment to your firm, to exude the potential to develop business or to start developing it along the way. And your numbers will matter Hitting your billable hour requirement, having your work paid for and collected on, gaining managing or client relationship credit. As you rise, you must also gain the practical skills and have those mostly set before you make partner. But your personal skills matter too. Your firm needs to see you as a member, as an owner. Are you taking leadership opportunities? Are you nurturing client relationships? Are you mentoring and delegating to associates? Can you run with files on your own? Partner is a wholly new role than being an associate. Sure, the billable hour remains a factor, a thing that you must do. You got to do the work, but now you're expected to be a firm owner to help run the firm. This includes business development, but it also includes mentoring, committee work and so much more.
Speaker 1:Now let's talk about the different kinds of partnership. Most people become partners as income partners, meaning they don't own equity in the firm. You might hear this called junior partner or non-equity partner. Some income partners are treated just like associates. They remain employees of their firm. For taxes, they have a W-2. For some income partners, you're a non-equity owner of the firm, so for taxes you're considered self-employed. You have a K-1 instead of a W-2. My firm is a true partnership. So I'm an income partner, but I'm an owner of the firm. For tax purposes, I have a K-1. I'm self-employed. I use my draw or salary to help pay firm taxes and benefits.
Speaker 1:No matter the kind of income partner you are, income partners do not bear the risk when a firm has a down year financially, which does happen but they also don't necessarily reap the rewards when a firm does really well. Who bears that risk? Equity partners. These partners invest their draw or salary back into the firm and are rewarded by receiving a percentage of the firm's profits based on their equity investment on years the firm does well. In exchange, if the firm has a down year financially, these equity partners take on that risk. They might receive less return on their investment.
Speaker 1:Now what if you don't want to be a partner? Some of you are like me in that you love your firm, you love being at a big firm, you love private practice. You just don't want to be a partner. A lot of firms now offer a role for this. At my firm, we call it senior counsel. Senior counsel can be a holding ground for laterals or promoted senior associates who may want to be partner one day but want or need more time. Associates who may want to be partner one day but want or need more time. Senior counsel often have lower billable hour requirements but higher hourly rates. So you can use this position to grow your business and increase collections and make an informed decision later on about transitioning to partner. Or you can stay senior counsel for the rest of the career rest of your career. Or you can stay senior counsel for the rest of the career. Rest of your career because owning the firm isn't for everyone. For a variety of reasons, some people become partner, then shift to senior counsel, then go back to partner. The point is firms are recognizing that to retain talent they have to be flexible. More and more. Millennials and Gen Z is expected to follow suit, don't want to be partner, and that's okay. It's not just partners who create great work and client relationships at a firm, so most firms have a counsel role for people looking to continue in private practice, without the expectations and responsibilities of partnership.
Speaker 1:Without the expectations and responsibilities of partnership, running the partner track can be rewarding. It's also grueling. It's a marathon, it's a trail race. There are bumps, peaks, valleys, and it isn't for everyone. For me, making partner was a huge accomplishment so far, probably the most major milestone in my life and career. I'll never forget calling my parents to tell them I made it. I'll never forget calling my husband to say we did it. I met my husband in 2016, right before I entered a big firm, so he's quite literally been with me every step of the way, and it's not an exaggeration to say I may not have survived without his support and I likely would not have been able to do it without his support.
Speaker 1:As I record this, I'm winding down my first year of partner. I've learned so much this year. I've had a great time being a partner and I'll share more about that next week. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Grace Period. I hope this discussion has provided some insights about choosing to be on the partner track. Next week we'll talk about the biggest lessons and takeaways I've learned this year, my first year as partner, and what I'm looking forward to in year two. Remember you don't have to sacrifice your well-being for career success. By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries and seeking support, you can survive and even thrive in the law and in big law. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other. That is the path to our grace period. Disclaimer this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute professional advice of any kind, including legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is created by listening to this podcast.
